It's not about the money.

"너가 한국말을하니까 편하다. ㅋ"

Sometimes the most unexpected things can bring a smile to your face. (Especially when you are on a morning peak hour train that is stalling in between every station.)

Just a little bit more and I will be free. But just let me rant a bit.

There are times I ask myself what I am doing with my life. Mom bemoaned the fact that I will have no savings by the time I am thirty, which is about two years from now.

And I kinda shocked myself with my calm reply to her. "Yes, I will think about this when I am there."

Now, this is a little unlike me, since I like to be prepared.

But one thing I've learned in my short life so far is that you cannot be prepared for anything. Sure, you can have emergency funds for a rainy day but then what?

That money is just that. Having a surplus does not improve your quality of life. What you need is an amount that is just right.

I have to admit, it is not a bed of roses to have to keep track of my expenses so tightly. But I somehow do not want to be too comfortable. I am afraid that will stop me from takng risks and doing what I really want.

When that happens, I will turn into yet another aimless Singaporean. Go to school. Get a degree. Work. Use my bonus to go on holidays. Get married. Save like mad to hold a meaningless wedding banquet. Save like mad to make sure I have a shelter over my head and food on the table. Save like mad to bring my children up.

When I was, sixteen, that was the life I thought I would have. It sounded more positive then.

Now I've come to realise how meaningless that kind of life is. It is full of societal expectations and none of what I actually want for myself and for my existence.

So, today, I know what I want. It may not be an easy road, but I would gladly trade a comfortable life for hard work.

I want to earn a comfortable life. I want to experience life. And most importantly, I want to be myself while I work towards my dream.

I am worried for myself, but I will continue to keep myself positive by ignoring all the negativity and search for solutions instead.

And of course, I will continue to appreciate the little everyday moments that keep my spirit strong.

New-ish news

Ok I am suffering from SuJu withdrawal. One week ago, I was anticipating the concert. Bleargh.

Anyways, a few notable K-pop releases.

SE7EN - 내가 노래를 못해도 (Even If I Can't Sing)

This is a genius collab with JYP! Very smooth and chillax. Loves it, though I have yet to get my hands on the album.

Big Bang - BLUE

YAWN. After all the hype and anticipation, we're being served another peice of the same old brand new. Like I've said before, Big Bang needs to break up.

John Park - Falling

My favourite of the lot. Love how polished this track sounds. Unfortunately, he chose to debut his album the week before Big Bang's comeback. Fail.

Ok. Back to work. It's D-98. OMG.

잘 지내고 있니?

잘 지내고 있니?
이 곳에서 느끼는 햇살은 또
다른 느낌이야
늘 많은 사람들과 함께 있다가
혼자 보내는 시간들은
세상은 새롭게 바라 볼 수 있는
눈을 열리게 해
조금은 낯선 이 곳의 거리와
낯선 사람들
이 곳에서 나는…
바쁘게 움직였던 나를
되돌아 보고있어
분주함과 피곤함에 지쳐
미처 느끼지 못했던
내가 누려온 많은 기쁨과
많은 사람들을
이 곳에서 떠올리게 되는데
참 감사하더라…
다시금 바쁜 일상으로
되돌아 가게 되겠지만,
지금의 여유를
마음에 담고
돌아가게 되겠지…
그리고 또 하나
이 곳에서
너를 떠올리며 일게 된 건,
네가 내게 너무나 소중하고
귀한 사람이라는 거야…
지금 네가 너무나 보고 싶다.
이런 나의 마음을 담아서
너에게 보낼게.
돌아가면 그날 그곳에서 봐.
그때까지 안녕.

How are you?
The warmth of the sunlight here
Is a whole different feeling
After being around many people all the time
Spending time alone
Opens your eyes
To a whole new world
This street here is still a bit strange
Unfamiliar people...
In this place, I am...
I am looking back at myself
Who used to move so busily
Exhausted from the rush and time
I didn't realise
The joy I experienced and
The people I knew
I came to recall all the memories
I am so thankful...
I will return to the busy lifestyle again,
But I will keep this sense of freedom in my heart...
And one more thing
In this place
What I've realised as I thought of you,
You are a precious
And a treasured person to me…
Right now I miss you so much.
I will send you these feelings
From the bottom of my heart.
When I return I will see you there.
Until then, goodbye.

120218 SUPER SHOW 4 SG

I better get down to this since I have some time now... I'm waiting to get my new VAIO up and running - installing updates takes a really long time.

So, Super Show 4 Singapore came and went.



I might sound a little deflated, but I assure you, it was one of the most fabulous nights I've had in a long time.

Super Junior never fails to dazzle me with what they are capable of as performers and entertainers.

The SG leg was as good as the Seoul leg, discounting the limitations of the Singapore Indoor Stadium. The experience was breathtaking, and I am glad the boys decided to mix up the setlist a little.

This time around, I wasn't surprised much, since I already knew what was going to happen. Haha, yes, a little wasted, but still, a concert experience is a concert experience - nothing beats watching your favourite artiste live, no matter how many times.

The boys were more enthusiastic this leg, perhaps because they love Singapore so much. Grass is greener on the other side syndrome. I welcome it, haha.

My favourite bit of the concert, apart from Yesung's solo, was, as expected, the stripped down bit, where the boys sang Lovely Day and Our Love, showing off that they actually can sing if they tried. Still magical, and still heartfelt.

I finally have a clearer version of the NYC VCR that I fell in love with during the Seoul leg:


And I appreciate the English translation! :) I will transcribe it when I have the time.

It's a pity the boys' schedule is so packed, they flew back to Seoul the night the leg ended.

Anyways, I had great fun, especially since this time, we brought our mom along - she now has a crush on Siwon, Donghae and Kyuhyun. LOL. Thought it would be nice for her to experience a concert with us, rather than just have her watch our DVDs and downloads.

Till we meet again, SuJu.

Pictures here!

Even if the skies get rough

The throat could not have been more sore at a more inappropriate time.

I guess I over-exerted it due to my excitement at the concert two days ago. I can hardly speak now. GURH.

To make things worse, I have to go through a whole lot of admin thingamajigs that is causing a huge headache.

The body is aching but I must push on.

Jason Mraz - I Won't Give Up

SPICA - Russian Roulette

I like this new girl group for not going with the stupid cute image, but I wish their MV didn't have to use a gun.

인연

Super Show 4 SG was a blast and I will be back with a more detailed account when I am free.

(Bunch of things on my mind, including income tax, housing problems and setting up the new computer bugging me now.)

But before I get carried away with work, let me just pen down the most beautiful thing that happened just a few hours ago.

I wasn't exactly prepared this time around for the concert, as I definitely didn't have SJ looping in my playlist the past two weeks.

But on Thursday, I did come across a song that I wanted to know the meaning of, and it wasn't an SJ song. It was 한 남자 by Kim Jong Guk. Yesung sang it during a variety show.

Yesung at Immortal Song 2 - 한 남자


It was then that Yesung caught my attention. He sang the song so beautifully, I wondered why I never paid any attention to Yesung before.

Anyway, I wanted to know the lyrics to that song because, while I knew the words, the meaning escaped me - my Korean is still as crappy as ever. I could catch phrases but overall the lyrics still did not make as much sense as they should.

So I searched for the lyrics.

Kim Jong Guk - 한 남자


한 남자가있어 널 너무 사랑한
한 남자가 있어 사랑해 말도 못하는
니 곁에 손 내밀면 꼭 닿을 거리에
자신보다 아끼는 널 가진 내가 있어

And just to get the meaning of the words in Korean in my head, I looped that song all Thursday long.

On Friday, Yesung tweeted that he was going to present a new song - a welcome change to the setlist, since I thought the English song he had been singing so far didn't do much for him.

And surprise, surprise.

He sang 한 남자 for his solo stage.

Yesung at SS4 SG - 한 남자


Amazing.

The one song I hoped for Yesung to sing live, he did, and he debuted it on the Singapore stage. And I was able to sing along to every single word he sang and understood what the song meant.

It's really amazing how things work. The one thing I wanted but least expected, happened in such a endearing way.

This incident may reek fangirl, but I think it gives me more hope and faith. Not in the crazy fangirl OMG-I-am-gonna-marry-my-bias way.

It simply shows me that I need to keep working hard, and to keep the hope and faith alive, because what you want and need may just come knocking on your door when you least expect it.

<3 you so much, Yesung.

A week and a hundred days

As the dates draw nearer, I get more and more nervous.

I know what I am doing, but I am not sure if I am doing the right thing. I know I am not doing the wrong thing, though.

I'm starting to realise what I'm leaving behind.

And I am also starting to wonder if I can really do this.

What was I thinking, eh?

*roll eyes*

Perhaps I put a little too much buffer time in between.

Love is a four-letter word.



Thanks, Jason.

;)

David Guetta feat. Sia - Titanium


I'm bulletproof
Nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet
You take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down
But I won't fall
I am titanium

Keep chasing pavements

As much as I don't celebrate V-day, I can't help but notice it.

It doesn't hit me so much in the face anymore like before, since I am no longer in school and I don't have to suffer the balloons, flowers and couples. And let's hope my mom (given that she's ill) forgets the usual question tonight.

But everyone's on a wishing spree - it's as if Christmas happened all over again.

Happy Valentine's Day. Happy Friendship Day (Pfft yarrite, no such thing, ok?), Have a good SAD (Singles Awareness Day). What else have you?

I don't know, and I don't really care, except, I must say, V-day takes the romance out of love. Ironically.

Why would it be special when everyone else does variations of the same thing with their partners on this day? Pfft.

You know what's special? Telling your loved one (family member, friend, partner) that you love them when they least expect it.

And don't stop telling them. A hug, a wish goodnight, a bowl their favourite tauhuey when they're ill, a few words of encouragement when they're down. Treat them well. It could be the most random thing, but you never know when you will never see them again. I know I long for these everyday gestures all the time.

So, those of you spending money and time with your loved ones today, I'm sorry, but I think you've been suckered. You've been led to believe that days like V-day, Christmas, anniversaries and birthdays are important.

Every single day, every single moment is important. Time is always slipping away, and if you're only going to celebrate love a few days in a year, you're doing it wrong.

Here's some Murakami if you don't buy me: On seeing the 100% perfect girl one beautiful April morning

Should I give up
Or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads no where?

Or would it be a waste
Even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there?

Adele - Chasing Pavements

I. Won't. Give. Up.

It has been some time since I visited Jason Mraz's blog.

I decided to check it out today because I was bored and wanted something different, apart from the usual K-pop news feeds and going through my self-replenishing to-do list.

Jason always inspires me. I'm awed by his incredible ability to put ideas into beautiful words, and to turn those words into sweet music.

Sometimes I wish I had Jason's neverending stream of passion - the dude stops at nothing harping on issues close to his heart. But with any good cause, getting support is never an easy task. Support sometimes comes in doses too much to handle effectively, or comes in trickles.

Or sometimes, due to the advent of social media, you may encounter a lot of support online, but no one turns that virtual cheer into physical action. If only a retweet could magically turn itself into an actual vote, eh?

But anyway. Back to the passion bit.

I've always had a list of things to do (yes, another one) that I've never got around to fully complete. It is a list that will not see its end simply because, you don't fight for a cause and somehow end somewhere.

I want to help women achieve equality - in the workplace and in the home. Economically and socially. This alone branches out into several different routes - and I need a focus. Do I join movements like Slutwalk and organisations like Aware? Do I reach out to women who mistakenly believe that wearing skanky shorts equate to power? Do I go into law and try to introduce policies to raise women's income? Do I go local or global?

I haven't quite figured out where I fit here, but I've started with that honours thesis - maybe I will find some direction for this later on.

I also want to help cats. Especially those on the streets. Do I start with the Cat Welfare Society? I've made donations, but then what? In the short term, I'm looking to volunteer at a shelter, but you know how we always have no time. Seven cats at home are keeping me very busy. This will change soon, and I definitely will slot volunteering into my schedule in the very near future (think D-113).

And then there's the music bit. I'm very lucky that my life revolves around music, even though sometimes, in straightjacketed Singapore, you will always encounter naysayers who tell you to "think about your future". I'm definitely no struggling musician (I can't carry a decent note) but I'm definitely in the business of spreading the love of music.

Don't go all snobby-indie on me, now. Music is music - whether rock, Chinese, classical, indie, folk, hip hop and my favourite phenomenon at the moment, K-pop.

The industry is a sunsetting one. But that doesn't mean we sit down and forget everything. Things are changing, and I'm excited. I'm going to learn as much as I can about how to continue sharing the love, while making sure that musical talent doesn't go unappreciated. Japan may be Asia's biggest music market, but there is no denying that Korea is progressing in a way that will keep the music industry alive.

So, off I will go to study this phenomenon in the hopes of contributing something useful that will keep the music alive.

But where do I get the endless passion from? There are days when I stalk people on Facebook and get all depressed at how cool so-and-so looks and how happening this-and-that's life seems. And then I look for some comfort food.

No one gives two hoots about my dreams of making a contribution to this world, they're all too caught up getting married or earning big bucks.

So, after the tub of ice-cream (I am thankful I am blessed with good skinny genes), I will make the decision (again) to stop thinking about how, why and what if. Nothing good comes out of wasting time.

More often than not, it is up to you to surround yourself with positivity. You take whatever's bad in your stride and you push on. Whatever mistakes you made, be thankful for them and learn from them. People may not be there to give you the push you want, but God gave you your sense of self for a reason - you can do it yourself!

Eventually things will work out, but that is only if you make the decision to allow them to unravel.

So, fear not. Dump redundant thoughts in the trash. Ignore cooler-than-thou people on Facebook. Adopt a less standoff-ish cooler-than-thou attitude (I like to recite 내가 제일 잘 나가).

And fight on.

Thank you, Mraz. :)

Completion

Just because I started with the whole EXO teaser thing, I thought I should just follow through with the prologue single (as what SM calls it.... *roll eyes*).

Yes, they have finally released a full MV for EXO. But it's not their title track.





I don't know about you, but it sounds extremely similar to TVXQ. Discounting the fact that most K-pop songs sound similar, I have to say, this one takes the cake. Go search some TVXQ stuff, you'll see what I mean.

And the Chinese version - not it. Because the song was written in Korean, it naturally sounds like K-pop. I don't know, but in Chinese, it loses its essence. Chinese pop sounds different, and I am not sure of the sustainability of EXO-M. They might survive, thanks to the Hallyu. But that's it. I also don't understand why the Chinese pronunciation sounds off, especially since the members are Chinese.

But I do like the song itself - only because the genious Yoo Young Jin helped pen it. I love his suave melodies.

Anyway, this should be the last I put up of EXO, unless they come up with something fantastic. After 12 teasers, they end up sounding like SM are trying to replicate the success one of their other failed boyband projects.
(I'm talking about TVXQ, not SuJu, yeah, even though you'd be mistaken to compare EXO to SJ cos both debuted with 12 members.)

So much for the pretty and shiny, eh.